Short bus, pancakes, & skanks

I had a short bus moment this weekend.  I looked at a shirt and I totally didn’t get it until the next morning.  I’ve visited the site several times and the shirt always struck me as unfunny kind of like the “comedy” of Robert Townsend.  I felt like doing a Homer Simpson and screaming, “Doh!”  I can see the cleverness in it now.  I’m almost certain it’s going to be my next t-shirt.  Get it?

I went to Targass over the weekend.  I really want an LCD HDTV in my bedroom.  I’m not sure yet if watching porno in high definition will be a good thing or a bad thing.  Sure I’ll be able to see that butterfly tattoo the slutbucket of the day has on her crotch but I’ll also be subject to seeing Raheim’s glistening ass hair and the little white bumps on his dick too.  Okay techie perverts chime in with your thoughts of porno in HD.  I looked at some 32 inch and 37 inch LCD TVs and they looked kind of small to me.  Sure they take up less space then my current 27 inch CRT but the screen looks significantly smaller too.  I was thinking of getting a 42 inch or a 47 inch TV but I don’t know yet.  I need to save up for it anyway.  I just have to decide if I want a new TV or to build a new desktop more and plan accordingly.

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Gobble Gobble Day 2008

Thanksgiving wasn’t anything special.  I don’t know what’s been up with my sleep lately.  I went to bed late and didn’t wake up until damn near noon on Thanksgiving.  As a result I missed most of the Thanksgiving parade.  I stopped watching the Lions game sometime between the first and second quarter.  I kind of like violent porn but that ass raping taking place just left me feeling all kinds of disgusted.  Around 4:30 it was off to my sister’s place.   My sister is never done even remotely done cooking by the time we get there.  My mom always complains about getting put to work yet every year she’s at the table making something.  If she really doesn’t want to be put to work then she should know to show up at least two hours after my sister says come over.

The dogs were being bad, well most of them.  Tantrum was pretty much acting like her name.  I’m not sure she has the begging for food thing down yet.  My dog doesn’t sit at the table and whine for food.  She sits there at growls.  I’m sure anyone scared of dogs would have a fit seeing the scene but it’s funny as hell.  My mom has spoiled her rotten.  Unless my mom gets pissed off Tantrum runs all over her like a bad ass child.  It’s funny watching her come out because she just runs and leaps at everyone like some fur covered pinball not quit sure of who she wants to greet so she tries greeting everyone.  TJ, my sister’s tiny Pomeranian/Poodle mix kept trying to bite Tantrum’s leg and my mother was getting offended by it.  It was bothering Tantrum.  If it was she’d leap up and smack the hell out of him.  It’s funny as hell to watch her smack one of my sister’s dogs.  Even my dog has a twitching pimp hand paw.  She wasn’t cooperating with my attempts to get some good pictures of her.  It was interfering with her demanding food.

I wore the “I hate every one of you” t-shirt Val bought me.  I thought it was funny as hell and kind of ironic to wear it at a family gathering for Thanksgiving.  My sister read my shirt and gave me one of those “he ain’t right” looks and asked me if I really hated everyone.  I don’t know everybody but I imagine if I did that I’d hate so many of people I met that it would be statistically accurate.  She asked if I hated the baby and I said he’s a’ight.  Come on.  I do hate a lot of people like males, children, teenagers, the elderly, cat people, authority figures, Black Republicans, people who can’t park between the lines, loud people, chicks that won’t let me fuck them, morning people, virgins, married chicks, chicks that don’t swallow, people with large gaps in their mouths, people that speak English but have accents so thick I can’t understand what the fuck they’re saying, Jehovah’s Witnesses, store greeters, 90% of Southern rappers, 95% of rappers with “Lil”, “Young”, or “Loc” in their names, etc. but even I like and love a couple of people.  Well, until they piss me off, hurt, or disappoint me like they all do and will sooner or later, but I digress.  Besides, I could’ve worn my “shut the fuck up” t-shirt but I may save that for Valentine’s day.

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Picture Meme

What is your name?

Surely you didn’t think I’d share my government name did you?  Retarded rabbit!

What is your favorite color?

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11/24/08

My weekend was an absolute blackhole of interesting and entertaining.  I wanted to go see Twilight but I keep hearing things that scare me like chick flick and teen romance.  I hate teenagers and my idea of a good chick flick is lesbian porn.  I’ve seen a few chick flicks but always on DVD or when they hit cable.  In short, Freaky doesn’t come out of pocket for that bullshit.  If you’ve seen it let me know if my fears are justified or not.

I’m mad we didn’t get any of that lake effect snow that the Thumb and Ontario got over the weekend.  An inch here or there is cool for now I guess but after Thanksgiving I’m going to have to start asking for some real snow.

I think I’m going to finally start writing my book sometime this week.  I have about a half dozen ideas for a story duking it out inside my head.  Funny thing is I still don’t know which one I’m actually going to commit to.  Since I’ve put it off for so long I promised myself that I’d have at least the first page down by the end of the year.  Maybe that will motivate me to keep on it.  We’ll see.  Methinks this weekend will be even more boring than last weekend so it might be perfect to let my mind drift to a dark place and see what I type.

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G1 30 days later

I said in one of my previous comments that I was going to give an update on my G-phone after I’ve had it for about a month.  Today is about 30 days after I received Mimi so here’s my update. I figured that I’d get the pros and cons out of the way first and then go into them in more detail.

Pros:
Forums.
Keyboard.
Memory.
Google integration.
Applications.

Forums: The various G1 forums have kept me well informed about my phone for the most part. So much so that I knew more about the phones than the people selling them. I’ve gotten detailed information and reviews about several applications, rumors, and future things coming to the phone. I also found more than a few wallpapers and ringtones for my phone by browsing the forums and I learn something new almost every visit. The G1 fans and volunteers have done the phone a great service. Keep up the good work!

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Turkey lova

I’ve gotten really bad with tuning people out lately.  I think I’m regressing.  I used to tune people out all the time as a kid and retreat into my own little world.  I always felt annoyed when people felt the need to snap me out of it.  I’m just not engaged, I guess.  I’ve never been much of a talker and usually I’m content with mainly listening and chiming in when it suits my fancy or I’m asked to.  Now I can’t even say I’m content with listening, especially if there’s something I want to do more like watch TV, sleep, do a crossword puzzle, or whatever.  I’m not as bad as I used to be.  As far as I’ve noticed I just tune out chatty people.  I could probably stop it if I just cut their conversations short.  People like talking to me for some odd reason.  Maybe I’ll feel like listening more after November sweeps are over.

I really have to find my mom someone she can chat with.  She kept telling me the same thing over and over yesterday.  I guess I could’ve been more communicative and said more than “Huh?”  Sometimes I just don’t pay attention to her, maybe it’s because I’m multitasking or maybe it’s because I just want her to think I’m listening long enough for her to finish and then leave me be.  This time I actually paid attention…after the second time.  I finally had to tell her that I heard what she said and understood, I just didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.  I feel bad sometimes.  I love her death and I know I should cherish and appreciate her while I have her.  It’s just sometimes I really don’t want to be bothered with any human contact.  I don’t want to hear stories I’ve already heard, I don’t want to hear any long bitch sessions, and sometimes I just want to disappear from anyone and everyone and just be left alone.  No talking.  No phone calls.  No human interaction whatsoever.  Sometimes I feel just the opposite and I’m almost desperate for human interaction and then I’ll have periods where everything and everyone really bothers me to the point I want a cabin in the middle of nowhere so I can get my recluse on.

This big green, I think it’s green, van parked next to my truck makes me nervous.  I guess because it kind of reminds me of a rape van.  I can just imagine some crazed hillbilly or big, White chick with 18 kids laying in wait to chloroform my ass, drag me into the rape van, and well make the van live up to it’s name.

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Am I becoming one or am I already one?

As per the group topic for November, this post is about a family gathering.  I can’t recall any memorable gatherings recently so I’ll just blog about my last family gathering.  My sister’s birthday was Friday.  We celebrated it on Saturday.  I wasn’t sure we were actually going to do dinner Saturday.  I wanted to see a movie this weekend since it’s been a minute since I last went to the movies.  I looked up movie times for my regular theater and Quantum of Solace was going to start at about 1:50 PM.  I told my mom around noon that I was going to the movies and that it started at 1:50 PM.  She tells me that she needs to do some errands, one of them being paying her JC Penney’s bill.  She went into some convoluted story which I tuned most of out.  I heard that she paid it online but she says the payment won’t be posted until after the payment was billed.  Um, call me evil but if I pay a bill electronically before the due date and for whatever reason it takes you a few business days to post it, as far as I’m concerned it’s paid.  I don’t owe you shit and I’m not paying any late charges, fees, etc.  She wants to go to Fairlane to pay it.  I don’t want to go to Fairlane.  Driving in Dearborn is irritating and infuriating in good weather.  When the weather isn’t so hot it’s worse.  Between people not paying attention, unaware of the rules of the road, and general tomfuckery I can do without driving there.  I love my mom but pay your shit early enough for it to post in a timely manner or drive yourself to the mall and pay it.  I don’t want to waste the gas and honestly I don’t feel like being your chauffer.

I voice my displeasure about her lack of preparedness not being an emergency on my part and that she’s messing up my plans.  I hate when people mess up my schedule.  I take her to the mall and we decide to catch the movie there.  It was at least 50 people in line and do you know how many people they had working tickets?  One person.  *Sigh*  A second person finally help her out and the line started moving.  Not before I had to fight the urge to trip a little girl.  I hate parents, especially single parents, that don’t control their damn kids in public.  Little bitch, get in the line or stay out of the line!  I wanted to pick her up by her throat and violently shake her.  I closed my eyes and wished a child molester would kidnap, molest, and kill the little brat.  What?!  Fuck you!  We get tickets for the wrong time.  *Sigh*  The movie hadn’t started yet but I missed the previews.  I was looking forward to seeing the trailer for the Star Trek reboot.  I’ve since seen in on YouTube but it’s not the same.

We leave the theater and my mom wants to get a dvd for my sister.  My sister claimed she didn’t want anything for her birthday and then called my mom up the night before asking what she got her?  I don’t understand females.  If you tell me you don’t want anything then you won’t get anything.  Hell, the money I was going to spend on you is gone as soon as you say you don’t want anything.  So I end up driving to several stores and none of them have the movie.  What movie you ask?  This Christmas.  Ugh!  How the fuck you got me driving all over the place for a movie with sweet ass Chris Brown in it?!  Still didn’t find it and I was tired so I said I’m done.  My sister randomly calls and tells us to meet at her place.  I’m just looking at my gas tank and I’m disgusted.  It’s under a quarter tank.  I don’t really like driving with less than half a tank.  I don’t even like riding in a car with less than that.  I tell people all the time to fill up or put some more gas in the tank because if you run out I will NOT push your car or walk a few miles to get you some.  Just not going to happen.  I’m comfortable sitting my ass in your ride and keeping an eye on it while YOU do that shit.

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